Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a transformative, evidence-based model of psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. It posits that the mind is a collection of distinct "parts," or sub-personalities, that interact internally. Unlike traditional therapies that view individuals as having a single mind, IFS recognizes multiplicity as a healthy, natural state.
At its core, IFS is built on the concept of The Self: the idea that everyone possesses a core essence that is undamaged, calm, and curious. In therapy, this translates to the balance between Self-Leadership (allowing the Self to lead the system) and Unburdening (releasing the extreme roles parts have taken on).
Internal Family Systems
IFS focuses on understanding the "internal family" and how different parts function to protect the system.
Managers: The proactive parts that run our day-to-day lives. They try to keep us safe and in control by planning, judging, or striving for perfection to avoid pain.
Exiles: The vulnerable parts that have been hurt or traumatized. They carry "burdens" like shame or fear and are often locked away (exiled) by the protectors to keep the system functioning.
Firefighters: The reactive parts that emerge when an Exile’s pain breaks through. They step in to "extinguish" emotional fires with impulsive behaviors, such as substance use, binge eating, or intense distraction.
The Three Roles of Parts
How IFS is Used in Sessions
An IFS session is structured to help you move from being "blended" with a part to witnessing it from your Self. It involves a "bottom-up" approach to emotional healing.
In individual sessions, you and your therapist focus on identifying which parts are active in your current life challenges. The session is often guided by The 6 F’s—a sequence used to find, focus on, and flesh out a part to understand its intent.
Sessions follow a path of differentiation: first, we ask protector parts for permission to speak to the Exiles they guard. This ensures the system feels safe before deep healing begins.
Much like a journey of discovery, these sessions focus on building an internal relationship. While traditional therapy might talk about a feeling, IFS involves talking to the part of you that holds that feeling.
The 8 C’s of Self:
In IFS, we view the "Self" as the seat of consciousness. When you are "in Self," you embody eight specific qualities: Calmness, Curiosity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Clarity, Connectedness, and Creativity.
How it’s used: During a session, a therapist might ask, "How do you feel toward that part right now?" If you feel annoyed or afraid, a "Manager" is likely present. If you feel "Curious" or "Compassionate," you are in Self-Leadership. It is the "centered state" where you can heal your parts without being overwhelmed by them.
The Goal: To lead your internal life from a place of grounded presence rather than being driven by reactive parts.
The 6 F’s (Unblending):
Many painful emotions are fueled by "blending," where a part's feelings take over your entire perspective. The 6 F's is a tool used to differentiate the Self from the part.
How it’s used: If you say, "I’m a total failure," the therapist will help you use the 6 F's:
Find: Where do you feel this "failure" part in or around your body?
Focus: Turn your attention toward it.
Flesh it out: Give it a shape, color, or age.
Feel toward: How do you feel toward it? (Aiming for Curiosity/Compassion).
Befriend: Learn its story and why it thinks it has to tell you that you're a failure.
Fear: What is it afraid would happen if it stopped doing this job?
The Goal: To create space between "You" and the "Part" so you can help it rather than being consumed by it.
Unburdening:
This is one of the most powerful healing tools in the IFS arsenal. It is based on the idea that parts aren't "bad," they just carry "burdens" (extreme beliefs or emotions) they picked up during difficult times.
How it’s used: Once a part trusts the Self, it is invited to let go of its burden. You might visualize the part washing away its shame in water, burning its fear in a fire, or letting the wind carry away its grief.
If you feel "Not Good Enough": Instead of trying to argue with the thought (Reasonable Mind), you witness the memory of where that burden started and invite the part to release it.
The Goal: To change the internal system by releasing the root cause of the pain. You don't just "manage" the feeling; you help the part transform into its original, healthy state.
Some IFS tools used in our sessions
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WE accept the following insurances:
Anthem
BlueCross and BlueShield
Health First Colorado
Medicaid
Rocky Mountain Health Plans
United Medical Resources (UMR)
UnitedHealthcare UHC | UBH
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We also accept self-pay clients. See our rates above.